People are always at my house, but one day my parents went out, my aunt went out, & the room renter went out. Since that rarely happens, I decided to light up outside. After I was done smoking & beyond baked, I thought I heard someone coming, so I went around the side to look. No one was there, but I kept thinking "what if they're trying to sneak up on me & go around." For the next 30+ minutes, I kept running around the house (it was night btw so shit was scary) trying to catch the person who was trying to catch me. After I snapped out of it, I went to my room to put the shit away, & I ended up staring at myself in the mirror for another 45+ minutes in the dark (there was a night light) b/c I couldn't decide if I was real or the reflection was real & I was the reflection... Fuck I was FH & I love it hah.

Ok not too long ago me and my friends were sitting in our spot in the forest behind the town tokin it up and my friend pulls out his cell phone and was looking through his numbers. he had a number on there from a "Male Enhancement" commercial we called it and was like "umm my penis is really small can you help me". the guy responds like this (exact words)(we were all laughing in the background)"so you think its funny, calling us and saying you have a small penis? i bet you and your friends touch each other and try to make them bigger,can i watch?" By this time we are all freaking out and my friend goes "umm no..." and the guy is like "is your number*******and we were said yep and he's like ok i'm gonna have the police call you back. by now we turned off the phone and took off running. why the fuck we were running from a man on the phone i don't know.

Smokin spliffs at my parents house late one night and i got very hungry. not to down on my parents but we never have anything good in the house so i usually end up eating something random, example: egg and ketchup sandwich or maybe just a good ol' fashioned casidilla. anyways, being the stinky stoner who has to sneak in the kitchen after 12, i decided to leave the light off as to not wake my parents. 'awesome! bagels and cream cheese' i thought. i sat there and downed probably about three bagels in the dark until i got to the last bite and noticed it tasted funny. turned the light on and there was not one bit of the cream cheese or bagel not covered in green and white fuzzy mold, and oh supprise, the bagel bag had been chewn up by rats. mmm mmm good home eatin!

One time, me and my boyfriend at the time went to one of my sisters dance shows at the high school. just before we went in and sat down with my family, we smoked maddd bowls of some bomb blueberry kush out on the football field. being as high as i was, i never thought about the smell of danky that was clouding around me. my dad, who was visiting at the time, being an ex-stoner himself, knew what was up when i sat down next to them in mid giggle fit and then being mesmerized by the flashing colorful lights not to mention my english teacher who was sitting right in back of us, getting a wiff of the herbal. iv carried on the nickname "skunky" ever since. (:

One day a few friends and I were hot boxing the one kid's van and got really hungry for tacos. We headed over to taco bell and I, of course, was in charge of ordering for everyone. I have to mention that we went through the Taco Bell drive through for this story to make sense. The first time around, I got our order 100% perfect. Of course, the dyslexic on the other side of the speaker didn't hear my last order, which was supposed to be a soft shell taco with no sour cream and a small Mountain Dew. The second time around, it came out "I need a small, soft shell taco with no Mountain Dew." This happened 6 years ago, I was baked off my ass, and I will never forget it, ever.

We had a smoke session before heading out to another friend's birthday party. blunts never sat well with me so I knocked out to overcome the nausea that was taking a toll on me. I still woke up incredibly higher than before. what was supposed to be a 20 minute drive lasted 2 and a half hours because I lost complete sense of direction in the left and right turns I was making. we circled around the same area the entire time.

So I was definitely so high one time when me and some friends were laying in the dorm room, and my feet were on top of the desk at the end of the bed and my friend got up and was near the desk and all of a sudden i felt something on my foot and so i yelled at her and told her to stop biting my foot and then everyone was like "what the fuck are you talking about?" and started laughing really hard and we all looked down and there was a hot glue gun leaking onto my foot. and so then we started laughing harder and i rolled off the bed and got stuck between the bed and the wall.

I was babysitting one night while the parents were at dinner. the kids were asleep when i got there, so all i had to do all night was chill. of course i pulled out my sack and smoked a couple bowls. the parents got home a couple hours later and i got picked up by a few friends. my friends and i went off to go smoke back at my house. shortly after i realized that i left my fucking weed at the babysitting house! I decided that the best thing to do would be to go back and try to get it. me and my friends all went back claiming i lost my drivers license. we were to yell the code phrase "its getting late" if one of us found it. i was afraid that they might have already found the bud, but thankfully they hadn't. they even started to help us look (oh shit). i was panicking when suddenly amidst the chaos i looked on the coffee table and saw my weed just laying there. i couldn't believe my luck. i picked it up and shouted "its getting late! i found my license!" and got the fuck out!! :)

My brother and his friend were heading to the world rally championships in ireland last year. Of course they were very stoned and had been smoking in the car the whole way up. They got lost and spotted an police officer directing the traffic and pulled up and asked directions, they forgot how much the car smelled of chronic and they had a big bag of weed sitting below the handbreak, the officer was even leaning in the window talking to them, then one of the realised how much the car stank. lucky for them the officers noise was blocked with the cold and they motored on.

Today I was pretty high and I had to clean the dinnerware. After a good 20 minutes, as i'm almost done, my brother comes to me and ask "Are you really that high?" Wondering what he's talking about, I look at my right hand and i'm holding a kitchen whip. Turned out that I had washed all the dinnerware with a kitchen whip. It worked before he came in the kitchen, I swear.